Dear College Freshman:

Here are a few things I wish I had known when I started at UGA. Please read and commit to memory.

1. You will never be this young and beautiful again. Be sure to take full advantage of that.

2. Be careful of the munchies, late night pizza ordering, and all you can eat cafeteria food. There is a reason they call it the "Freshman 15", and it is much harder to lose than it is to gain. In that same vein, don't get all eating disordery about it, either. If you think you have one, you probably do. See a counselor. They are usually free at your school's clinic.

3. Never walk alone around campus at night. If you need someone to walk with you somewhere, call a friend or campus security.

4. If you are attached to your computer/notebooks/textbooks/articles of clothing/jewelry/ et al, do not lend them to others. There is a high probability you will not see them again.

5. Study abroad for at least a semester. It will change your life. In a good way. In the best way. Don't worry about the parties/games/events/friends/members of the oppposite sex you will miss while you are gone. They are no match for Study Abroad parties/events/friends/members of the opposite sex/becoming a more interesting and better citizen/traveling/living in another country for super cheap experiences. Your friends who tell you otherwise are losers.

6. As difficult as it may become, be as nice as possible to your thought they were cool at first, but now are annoying asses roommate(s). There is nothing worse than living with someone in cramped quarters when you hate someone and/or they hate you.

7. Be aware that if you apply for a credit card in order to get some craptacular free t-shirt, they will send you a credit card with a stupid high interest rate. Also be aware that if you use said credit card, you have to pay the bill.

8. Long distance relationships suck the life out of your college experience. If at all possible, do not participate in them.

9. Keep up with your reading for classes from day one. Study a little bit every day. It is much easier to start out with a high grade in a class than it is to pull up a low one late in the semester.

10. Always use a condom. The guy who says he doesn't have any will find one at an amazing rate of speed if you refuse to do it without one.

11. Never ever get into a car with a driver who has been drinking. Just don't. You know why.

12. Do not allow any pictures of you to be taken in any state of undress. They will end up on the internet, specifically when you graduate and are looking for a job, or when you are running for office.

13. Participate in as many extra-curricular activities as you can handle. Your resume will be well padded, and you will meet a ridiculous amount of different types of people that way.

14. Drink a glass of water in between each alcoholic drink. Your liver and your head will thank you the next day. It also assists in keeping the "WTF was I thinking" moments the next morning/day/week to a minimum. (It's odd how they come filtering through even days later, for a whole 'nother round of self-loathing.) Don't worry, you can still enjoy a nice buzz when you practice this technique, and you and all of your friends will appreciate your refraining from becoming knee-walking drunk on a regular basis.

15. You will miss your family more than you thought you would or care to admit. Call them and tell them that.

With love from your not that much older, but much wiser pal, TPO

My friend, Shellie, twittered about Trendy Indie today, and I have found what I want for JWO's birthday, which is today. Yes, I deserve a present for JWO's birthday. Shut up.

Large Clutch-Japanese Elephant

Hoppity, hoppity, let's go shoppity! Or something. Here is the listing of children's consignment sales in and around town. If there are some others that should be added, please let me know.

Charlotte Mothers of Multiples
Charlotte, North Carolina ~ August 8

University City United Methodist Church
Charlotte, North Carolina ~ August 8

Tot Trade
Concord, North Carolina ~ August 14-16

The Cow Jumped Over The Moon
Tega Cay, South Carolina ~ August 27-29

For Every Season
Fort Mill, South Carolina ~ September 9-13

The Upscale WeeSale
Rock Hill, South Carolina ~ September 10-13

Lake Norman Mothers of Multiples
Mooresville, North Carolina ~ September 12

Weddington Church
Weddington, North Carolina ~ September 17-19

Matthews United Methodist Church
Matthews, North Carolina ~ September 19

Harris YMCA
Charlotte, North Carolina ~ September 26

Sardis Weekday School
Charlotte, North Carolina ~ September 26

Divine Consign Show
Charlotte, North Carolina ~ Late October?

Shop on, sisters!

While at the inflatable hell that is Monkey Joe's today, I had an epiphany. I need a whistle. Monkey Joe's employs a few "referees" (read: surly looking teenagers who walk around wearing black pants and ill-fitting black and white striped shirts, cursing the economy because they couldn't get jobs at the mall or waiting tables this summer and are stuck monitoring the behavior of hyped up kids whose parents who are counting down until the glorious day when school starts, and meanwhile have completely given up on disciplining them). The only redeeming aspect of being a ref at Monkey Joe's is that they have whistles, and they get to blow them when they see wrongdoing. And...it works. The children stop their shenanigans, at least for a moment, when they hear the trill of the whistle. I need one. I plan on blowing it not just at FOO, but at everyone who needs to hear it. Catty neighbors. Drivers who don't know how to use a four-way stop. My dog who keeps running away and puking on my rugs even though there are wide open areas of unadorned hardwoods in my house (not at the same time). People who let their much older child push my child down on purpose today at Monkey Joe's (I actually just yelled at the kid right in front of his mother while he smirked at me, but it would have been much more effective with a whistle). People who talk in movies. Those who can not conjugate verbs properly and/or who use racial slurs (sometimes they are the same people). People who constantly one up anyone with whom they happen to be talking. "Friends" who say ugly things behind the backs of other "friends" on a regular basis. Those who are habitually late. Other people's husbands who hit on me and/or other women. People who are much braver behind the computer screen than they are in person (Not me. I will yell at your bratastic kid right in front of you). Crappy customer service providers. People who write checks at the grocery store. Oh, dear. It appears I am going to need some earplugs so I don't damage my hearing. I could go on and on. And on.

If I am going to do it, I am going to do it right. Check out this baby:

. Or this one, which I found in loranscruggs's shop on etsy. Love it!

This is an update on Matt Laws-thanks to everyone for their support.

We truly apologize for the lack of updates over the last 24 hours. One of the things we have learned over the past several days is not to get ahead of ourselves and celebrate what we think is about to occur. Matt was found late last night, and through a long, tear-ridden conversation about how many people were concerned for his safety, he agreed to return home. We arrived but a short time ago.

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Without the kindness and support of perfect strangers, Matt would never have been found. I showed him this site this morning, and he was truly taken aback by the sheer number of people that were praying for his safe return. After seeing how many people cared about him, he realized it was time to come home.

Some have asked if they could contact Matt directly. He is open to it, so if you would like to send him a note, please feel free to mail them to my office at:

Eric Mower & Associates Attn: Matthew Laws 1001 Morehead Square Dr. 5th Floor Charlotte, NC 28270

Matt is safe now, but there are so many more that are still missing. I for one can tell you how difficult it is to get support when the person who is missing is an adult. The Kristen Foundation is a non-profit dedicated to reuniting endangered adults with their families. If you are still looking for ways to help, please see their website at www.kristenfoundation.org

The Laws Family

A friend of mine's brother is missing from the Charlotte, North Carolina area. Please take the time to read the information recently posted to facebook by Jason Laws, and please pass it on to anyone who you think might be able to help.

To any and all who are out there, please pass this on to everyone you know. My brother Matthew Laws went missing on Tuesday night, July 14th. He is 31 years old, approximately 6'0" tall and weighs about 120 lbs. He drives a black 1999 Isuzu Amigo with the NC license plate #PWV-3920. The driver side rear bumper is missing because of a recent fender bender with another person from his church. Matt hasn’t called anyone for more than 24 hours now and was supposed to be at work tonight (Thursday) and didn’t show. We’ve left numerous messages for him and also filed a missing persons report with the Charlotte PD. His bank card has been used recently in Tennessee at a rest stop and gas station in the Nashville area off I-40. Matt is a fabulous guy with a big heart and he wouldn't harm a fly. In that same way, he is also a very innocent person and our biggest concern right now is his safety. If you know anything, think you might be able to help track him down, or know someone who can, please don’t hesitate to let me and my family know. You can post to this group, email me at pleasefindmatt@me.com or call me at 704-965-7242. You can also contact Detective Tuttle with the Charlotte Missing Persons Unit at 704-336-3949. Any new info will be posted to this site. If you have recent photos, please post those to the site as well. We pray for his safety and quick return.
Contact Info
Email: pleasefindmatt@me.com

In addition to creating the yummiest Tinis and corresponding fun Tini names ever (BooTinis for Halloween, anyone? No? How 'bout GeezerTinis for your 40th Birthday?), our friend Ed Burke is the dude in charge at the Omni Hotel Charlotte. Ed was good enough to donate an evening's stay at his swanky hotel, and though him being famous on my blog is probably the best thing that has happened to him in a while, I would also like to make it known that he is such a good guy that one of his teenaged children started the "Mr. Burke Fan Club" on facebook, and it currently has 328 members. Reason enough for me to stay at any Omni. Oh, and they are really nice hotels. Thanks again, Ed!

A while back I decided that I would dedicate some blog entries to some extra generous people who donated items for the Junior League auction which raises money for the agencies served by my chapter. They did it all because I asked them to, so I felt like the least I could do is blog about them. Yeah, that auction was back in March. No time like the present to make good on that decision...

Ginger Campbell at Technicuts

In addition to being one of the sweetest people I know, Ginger is an efficient and knowledgeable aesthetician. Last fall she did a peel on my baby sensitive whitey white skin, and within a few days I had an ethereal glow. I also came home with the "Botox in a Bottle" that she sells, as well as some other things to make me feel young and pretty, which is exactly what I needed right before my 33rd birthday. She's good like that. Her space is located in uptown Charlotte in the alley near the French Quarter, and she is reasonable in her prices and flexible in her schedule. She also throws a mean Pumpkin Carving Party every year along with her hubby Nate Dawg, but I can't promise you an invitation to that.

So, the potty training is going well. FOO just took off his diaper, looked right at me, and peed all over one of my throw pillows (which was thankfully on the floor-thanks to his every day redecoration of my den). Then looked down and said "OHHHHHHH NOOOOOO!". Which was definitely not what I said in my head.